Over the last couple of years, I have been on a journey of discovery of myself, my business, and my life. Taking the learnings from each day to propel me in to the next.
Has it been a smooth ride? Hell no. Has it had surprises? Oh yes. Has it been challenging? Most definitely. Sometimes, when in the throes of taking big steps forward, I had to take a step or two back to see where I was, who I was becoming, and explore the reasons why I did or didn't do things. I even questioned why I didn't take the action when in my heart, I knew I should have.
To those who know me, generally see me as confident, outgoing, sometimes even annoying with my incessant talking and great ideas (well at least I thought they were). However, on the inside, I can be quite different.
There were times when I stopped for too long and dwelt on the “what if’s”, or allowed the self-doubt to creep in. Sometimes, these negative feelings were brought on by reading someone else’s amazing story, leaving me feeling that I wasn’t good enough - or I had to take yet another training course or attend another masterclass to catch up.
Then I posed some very tough questions to myself.
• Why am I comparing myself to others?
• When will I love me for me?
• When will I be enough?
I wonder how many of you who are reading this now are thinking “These could be my words, my thoughts and feelings.”
As a mindset coach you would have thought that, of all people, I would know better, that I would not allow these negative thoughts and emotions to get in my way. The truth is I did allow them to seep in - until I said, “No more,” I was tired of the negative energy.
When I stopped comparing myself to others, I realised it was far easier and nicer, to just me and to love me for who I was. After all, I am, as we are all are, unique. When I allowed the ‘me’ to come through and to be truthful to who I was, I started to become aware of the people who were adding quality to my life, and those that were draining it.
I moved away from the 'draining', bit by bit, and although I worried about what people would say, I found it to be so empowering when I took those steps.
Not all comparison is bad as seeing others achieve, shows us that we can do it too. However, if you look to others and think “if only,” or “I am not as good as that person,” then think again. We are all very special people and when we let go of negative attachment of trying to copy or be like someone else, our life blossoms and we grow to the be amazing person we were meant to be. ??
I am still not perfect, I still have days where I doubt myself but when those days arrive, I focus hard on what I want and allow thoughts about what I don’t want fade, or on occasions give them a damned hard push.
If you like this article and would like to see more, please feel free to join my FB Group ‘The Mindset Lounge for Women’ (sorry guys) – I have put the link in the comments below
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